Monday, December 8, 2014

Emergency Transfer!

Querido Padres y Amigos,
           Guess who's not in General Pico now?! This Guy!! Emergency Transfers Baby! I'm now in the city of Bahia Blanca in an area called Villa Cerritos, which means little hills (they certainly dont feel little when I'm walking up them.) I met my new companion Elder Villaseca (Elder Dry Village) and I said "do you speak-a-my language?" and he just smiled and gave me a vegimite sandwich. And he said "I come from land down under, where women..." actually he is from Peru and only speaks spanish. He's pretty dope, but I guess any companion would be an angel after Elder McAngry. I'm also five minutes from the Mission President and I'll probably see him around once a week or so. I talked to him when I got here and it looks like we're going to see how living in a city goes. If it works, I'll probably switch between here and Mar De La Plata for the rest of my mission or something like that. I'm going to give it pretty much till Christmas and if I'm not getting better (I've still got the same old pain), I'm putting my foot down. I've been looking for food since Thursday (when I got here) and sadly, the selection isn't much better so far. I'll keep trying though, and hopefully I'll find something good.
      It's so dang hot now, every day has been in the high 90's, with a flat slap of humidity to throw in there. I have never been so sweaty in all of my life. Here is my schedule now. Wake up sweaty, sweat, shower, sweat in the shower, get out of the shower, sweat, get dressed, sweat, study in a pool of sweat, go out and work, sweat a little more, go back home, sweat, take another shower, and you guessed it sweat. Then sleep like I just got out of a pool! It's awesome.
        I really won't know what happens to my investigators back in General Pico, so that kind of stinks and I'm still 6 months into the mission with zero baptisms, which may be some kind of record! It doesn't really bug me but it sure seems to bug the dang Assistants to the President. They won't leave me alone "You need to baptize Elder!" "Elder! why haven't you baptized yet?!" "Elder its really important to Baptize!"... I wish someone would of told me sooner that I was supposed to baptize or I would of been working way harder these 6 months! The assistants don't particularly like me or my sarcasm but what are you gonna do!? 
      Also, in relation with Christmas skyping, I think I'll be on around 5 or 6 my time, which is around 12 or 1 your time. I'll get more information as we get closer, but it'll probably be that. 

Con mucho amor,
Elder Evans

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Journey to the Center of Me

Querido Padres y Amigos,
            Finally, an eventful week. Well actually two crazy days and some nice nothingness in between. First of all, I would like to share a spiritual experience... hehe (you will understand this dad pun in two or three sentences) This last Tuesday I was on divisions with Elder Landerose, my favorite Mexican. Later in the evening, we stopped in the church for a second or two to sit down because Elder Landerose wasn't feeling so hot. So we were just sitting in one of the classrooms for about 2 minutes and then we heard the front door of the church open. I said to Elder Landerose "who's here" and we heard people walking and women's voices talking. But, it was quiet and we couldn't understand what they were saying. Then being the gentleman that we are, E' Landerose and I got up to go say hello. I walked out of the room and started to say "Hola Hermanas" and then I realized there was nobody there. I was confused and realized that they probably went into the chapel. We walked in and again nobody was there. That's when I started freaking out a little. I looked at E' Landerose and asked if he heard the women too and he said he had. Then he suggested that they might be in the bathrooms or in one of the other classrooms. So we went and checked every single room near the front door. Still nobody. E' Landerose then said "do you here that?" and I heard voices and them walking over around the corner from the room where we had been sitting earlier. "I asked him "how did they get passed us?" because the church is "L" shaped and the only way they could get to that point was to walk down the hall where we had been the entire time. E´ Landerose and I started to almost run towards the sound because we were a little scared at that point. We kept getting closer and closer and the sounds were getting louder and louder. But when we finally turned the corner.... nothing... Drawing on all the knowledge I had of scary movies, I concluded that I was both funnier and uglier than E' Landerose and I created a scary movie order of death chart [First to die to last: Angry loner guy, then Beautiful dumb girl, then the Funny guy, then the nerd, then the Best friend, and then the Good looking lead character (who possibly lives)] I was able to then calculate that I would die way before E' Landerose and I ain't no supporting character. So we left real fast. The moral of that story is that Ghosts are real and that movies really do help in real life situations. If you want to work on securing movie rights to our adventure, I would like to be played by Ewan McGregor, Elder Landerose by Antonio Banderas and the ghosts by Sandra Bullock and Keira Knightley.
        On a completely different note, I had my intestinal biopsy last Friday and it wasn't very fun. I sat down on the doctor bed-table-thing and the doctor told me to lay down on my side. He sprayed some numbing stuff in my mouth so I couldn't talk very well. Then he pulled over this giant cart that looked like it was used for torture in a cold war era Russian prison. Attached to it was a gaint hose, about the width of my pinkie and a flash light at the end of it. I said to him "If you think this is going to get me to talk and betray my country, you're dead wrong you Filthy Pinko Commie." but it came out like a bunch of gibberish because my mouth was too numb. He then picked up the hose and proceeded to explain what he was going to do and then the real fun started. You have never really lived until someone has shoved a yard of plastic tubing down your throat. I'm not going to lie, I gagged and drooled all over myself like a newborn baby. Then he told to look at the T.V. screen on the Cart O' Death. I could see inside of me. It was red and gross. The worst part is that while watching it on the screen I could feel it moving through my body like an alien. Then it pulled three nice pieces of my intestinal wall out of me and put it in a bottle. At that point, I started telling all the secrets I knew about our nation but it probably just sounded like crying. After he pulled it out of me and sent me home, I slept for like 3 hours from the PTSD that I got. It was a good time.
        Other than that, teaching wise, its been a pretty uneventful week. Everybody is still working on the their papers and we're getting closer! Its going to be in the 95s this week, though, and I am not particularly excited to go outside anymore. 

Thats It!
Elder Evans

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Re: Average Week

 Querido Padres y Amigos,
>             A peaceful week in the Grand City of General Pico for once! I'm feeling better. I'm trying to aviod gluten now the best I can. I don't like it, though. It's like I watched all my favorite foods abandon me at once. It's like I'm getting over a bad break-up and I'm not sure I will ever find love again... At least ice cream is back on my side.
>             At the very least, I have very good news. Elder Giliam was transfered to my district!! Back together again! The Dream Team! So we get to live together and everything and its awesome. He's doing well to. His spanish is at about the same level as mine and he has become a real good missionary. I'm super happy about that, even if its only for one transfer.
>              General McCord and I had a big fight this week. He got super mad at me because he said me and the district aren't respecting him as a leader. So then I told him  that we don't like being yelled at. Then he told me that he can yell at us because Christ yelled at the Pharisees and we are acting like Pharisees. Then there were lots more equally ridiculous statements from him. I'm not sure if we fixed anything, but he calmed down. So it's all good for now.
>               All of our investigators are doing well. David is coming back from Rosario (a city north of here) with all his marriage papers for Marta and him. So with any luck they should be getting married in two weeks! Also we have two other investigators named Maira and Emanuel, who have been investigators for a very long time, but are getting their act together and trying to get married, like always. Merwiage is wut bwings us togefer.
> Thats about it
> Love,
> Elder Evans

These are our spirit animals on the back of our plaques

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Don't Let the First Sentence Freak You Out

Querido Padres, Familia, Amigos y Sam
            So this may go down as the worst week of my life (on paper at least!). Don't Worry, though, I'm still in my typical cheery, go-lucky mood. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm still good. There's a lot of stuff to talk about today, so I'm going to start at the beginning.
             On Monday, P-Day was great. That girl from France, that I had been talking to along time ago wrote me, so I was very pumped about that. Then, when I was walking from the cyber cafe, super happy, this random dog just ran up to me and for no reason, bit me in the leg. So now I've got some nice litle teeth marks on my calf. Luckily he didn't bite through my pants. I can heal, but my pants can't.
              Then Tuesday, the zone leaders called me amd told me that I was going to Santa Rosa in the morning to get my test results. I told them that they wouldn't be ready yet, but the zone leaders wouldn't listen. So I went all the way to Santa Rosa (a 2 1/2 hour bus ride) and I was supposed to go back to General Pico after a couple of hours. The tests weren't ready until the next day. Then, Elder Davalos (the zone leader) casually told me that I wasn't going home until later in the night because there was no one to be with his companion and E' Davalos was leaving. I was fine with that so I worked with his companion all night. Then when I called E' Davalos to see when I was going home, he said that I wouldn't actually go home until the next day because he didn't have anyone to be with his companion. I was obviously a bit angry with that, and told him I only had the clothes on my back and nothing else. He did this weird high-pitched laugh thing that he does when he doesn't know what to do and hung up. So I spent the night there without being able to shower, brush my teeth or even change my clothes (I was super sweaty because its really hot now). Then when we were getting ready I told E Davalos to call my companion so he would be there to pick me up and he said he'd do it when we got to the bus station. Then we got to the bus station I asked again and he said he'd do it after my bus left. Then after a lovely nap filled bus ride, I got to Pico and realized that nobody was there. I then realized that I didn't like Elder Davalos. So I asked myself, "What would Jesus do?" and I decided that Jesus would walk. I walked 30-ish minutes by myself to our house. It felt super weird. When I got to the house nobody was there. I then had the prompting to check the back door (thank goodness for the Holy Ghost). I hopped the fence and checked the back door. It was unlocked. I was so very happy. (One of the other Elders swears that it was revelation that he forgot to lock the back door.) I then sat alone in the house listening to Phantom of The Opera and singing my heart out for 3 hours because I had no way to contact anyone. It was wonderful when the others came back because I was super bored.
                 Friday morning, I went to the doctors (I made Elder Davalos go get the results because he owed me) and the doctor told me what's going on. So it turns out that I have celiac disease. It'san auto  immune  disease that effects how my villi in my small intestine grow. When I eat gluten, my system attacks itself and I get sick and feel bad. It really expains why I have always had a terrible time with stomach stuff. Its the reason I am Lactose intolerant. It now means that I can't eat anything with gluten anymore, which will be a bit difficult because they don't have anything here but gluten. Luckily when my intestines heal, I'll be able to digest milk and ice cream again. Apparently its genetic, so watch Megan and Sam carefully. 
                 Don't worry about me though, I'll be fine. I'm lucky that I'm in a very spiritual stable state, so I have a lot of help from our Heavenly Father. I found a little scripture in 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9. It says "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed" It's a bit dramatic for my situation but its a good one. I am still working along. I'm still alive. I'm still doing a good work. And for that I am happy.

Love you all,
Elder Evans

attached is a photo of me celebrating halloween as my favorite phantom

Thursday, October 30, 2014

I'm not dying.. maybe

Querido Padres y Amigos,
          Good News! I'm doing better! I don't know what went down that last week and a half but now I'm back to just regular sick. It could be worse than how it was before that terrible week, but I'm so use to the pain now, it doesn't phase me as much.
          On Tuesday I went to the hospital to schedule studies but they said I would have to wait ten days or something before I could go in. So I was all "heck no, I ain't dying anymore than I need to." Then I called Presidente and told him I was tired of being sick and I didn't know what to do. Luckily, he told me he was coming to Santa Rosa that Friday and we could figure everything out when he arrived. So I went down to Santa Rosa to meet hm there and we talked all about what was going down. He also thought it was ridiculous to wait so much time for an appiontment and called an Hermana in Santa Rosa who scheduled for me to do it the next day. Then I went in, did the studies (they took my blood and I pooped in a cup) and then I left. My results are supposed to be done this Thursday. so I'll go get it, and go in Friday to see the doctor here. Oh also, I think I lost about 11 kilos (about 24 pounds) since I got this dang thing in my system, but I suppose that's a plus side! 
           I was also thinking about being spirutually healed, padre. I think my story of that would be Alexis. When I met Alexis he was fresh out of jail for a crime he didn't commit, he had no job, had a family with a brand new baby and no where to live. You could see the worry on his face for a long time. But he was so smart and put faith in Heavenly Father that he would be able to get through it. I never heard him complain, I never heard him say anything but how he was grateful for everything that he had and heavenly father blessed him. Now he has a house, more work than he knows what to do with, and this sunday is going to recieve the Melchezidek Priesthood. I saw a picture of him from his baptism and he looks like a man who is happy and healed.

And Thats All I Got!
Love You All!
Elder Evans

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Stuck inside

Wow, what a boring week, I honestly don't have any idea what to talk about. I was kind of really sick this week. I had actually been sick for about 3 or 4 weeks now, but I am fairly certain its over now. I couldn't hardly eat anything without getting super sick and needing to use the bathroom. So I talked with the doctor of the area (he is over all the missionaries in this part of Argentina) and he thought I had a parasite and took a bunch of medicine for that. Unfortunately, that made me more sick because of the side-effects and I couldn't leave the house a couple times. So that didn't work and I had to go see a specialist four days ago and he gave me more pills and told me to stay on a special diet. I need to return in 10 days. I feel a lot better now, so hopefuly it will all be good! 
          Luckily, in the break of being in our house, every once and awhile we found, or should I say, we were found by an inactive member and his girlfriend, named David and Martha. They want to get married super bad in the temple. She also has 2 kids: Dalma (16) and Tomas (12) and they are possibly the best behaved kids in all of Argentina! They're all so awesome. Also in related news, Ana and Alexis got baptized last weekend!!! My first converts! I was sad not to to be there but I'm just glad it finally happened.
1. Companion is still difficult, but my zone leaders gave me some good tips to deal with him.
2. I am actually in a branch right now. I like them but I don't feel the same love for them as my last group.
3. Living situation is good and Elder McCord and I are going to move out soon, yeah....
4. I am GOOD

In other news, in all my free time, I wrote this song, poem, hymm, thing. I don't know if it's good or not I was not exactly in my right mind writing it.

In the throngs of winter's chill
With quiet confidence I continue on
Within the wrath of summer's sun
I feel Him with me still

The Lord hath redeemed my soul
I have beheld His glory
His sacrfice keps me whole
He is deep in my heart's quarry

Legacy of love, the Savior's reign
This great cause will carry on
Love unfeigned, God's only son
In His Embrace I will remain


It does cause my heart to burn
The Lamb of God leading on
The Lord of Hosts, The Father's Son
Israel's truimph, He shall return

Elder Evans

Awesome Conference!

Dear Padres y Amigos,
       How about that General Conference eh!?! (a little Canadian lingo for those in the Great White North) SO GOOD Right!? They have an expression here in Argentina to describe what happened in that conference - "bajar la caña" or "to drop cane."Its like what you do when you want to chastise someone, you drop cane on them and, boy, there was a lot of cane dropping in the last conference. It was like BAM *follow the prophet* BAM *Listen for your own personal revelation* BAM... It was also super exciting because now we can say that we are actually an international church. Everyone here was so excited to hear the spanish speakers actually speak spanish and you know what? I actually understood them perfectly. Luckily, we got to see it in english because even though I understand the translator, it is so much easier when you don't have to think so hard about it. Having them speak in their native language really helps us as missionaries. The people often don't like that we are "that American church."
        I really don't have anything to say more, but Romina and Victoria still aren't baptized. So close!


Elder Evans

Saturday, October 4, 2014

No Clever Title

Hola Todos!
         My goodness, what a week. First off, General Pico is way prettier than Santa Rosa. I now realize that Santa Rosa just happened to be one of the ugliest places on earth. I think my area is just a bit larger than my area in S.R. and it is way more packed with houses and stuff. We  also have the part of town called centro (central) which is the city part and I love it. Suprisingly, I miss Santa Rosa a lot. I was actually feeling super home sick last week... or santa rosa sick, I guess. Sorry padres, but I think I was actually more sad about leaving Santa Rosa than my own home... Oops! The ward was just so good there. I don't think I'll have the same thing here, sadly. Luckily if I get in good with the next president (because Presidente Parreño leaves at my one year mark) then I can go back to Santa Rosa towards the end of my mission. 
          So I know that there has been a clamorous uproar among my many fans for something spiritual and, as you know, I always deliver the goods. So here it goes:
           There are two investigators here named Victoria and Romina. They were supposed to be baptized this last weekend but they started having a ton of doubts if they were really ready. The sad thing was that the day before, Elder McCord told "you are getting really close to being baptized so satan is going to try really hard to keep you from doing it. So be careful and you'll be fine. And, then they didn't listen. 
          After finding out that they were having troubles, we called them to come meet us at the church because E' McCord had to do an interview for a baptism for somebody else there. Romina was the only one that could come and she showed up with her 5 year old son (she is 23 and single, so sad.) We started talking to her about why she had doubts and she said that she had gone to another church in Buenos Aires and was torn between us and them. So E' McCord began to talk and explain, but he also began to get super emotional and frustrated because his sister had been in the same situation or something and it really hit close to home. So he was just pulling out scriptures about the devil and his churches and contention and it was getting really bad because she was getting very defensive about the church she had gone to. At this point, I was thinking that we were going to lose her because Elder McCord was just bashing with her. Thank goodness, E' McCord realized what he was doing and excused himself to go and interview the other guy. Then I realized it was just me and her (there were other people all over but, you know, it was just her and me in the lesson), so I just dove in blindly, hoping that the Spirit would help me out. So I just asked her what it was like at the other church and she just described at as a fat, crazy party. So I just described what I thought it was like to her and she said that's exactly what it was like. Then I said "you know what I just described? Riding a roller coaster. I think it was just the adrenaline that you were feeling at the other church and I understand that's fun but you can feel that anywhere. But what you can feel in this church, is like nothing you can find anywhere else. This peace and tranquility is something that only comes from pure truth." Then I explained that it was probably a good church and taught good things, however there can only be one true church and your in it. She agreed and then I said (the spirit was so strong in the room, it was almost on fire, at this point.) "I don't even know you, but I already love you, Elder McCord loves you too and Heavenly Father loves you even more... All I want is what's best for you, because I know, without a doubt, that if you are baptized here, your life will get sooo much better. I then gave an anolgy about how Heavenly Father knows more than we do and all that. After that, I just stopped and said the only way your going to know is if you pray, so we are going to kneel down right now and pray. SO we did and I was about to burst because the spirit was just so thick. She actually started freaking out a little because she felt so much spirit. She said her whole body was on fire and she didn't know what to do. Elder McCord came back in and we finished up. Now she's going to get baptized either this week or the next depending on General Conference. Of course,I know that none of that was me. I can't actually speak spanish that well.  I was just a spiritual funnel in that moment and it was amazing.

And thats it,
Elder Evans


Our investigator Victoria

I drew on these oranges...

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Next Episode

Querido Padres y Amigos,
            So I got transferred! I'm now in some place called Maracò. It's like a section of city called General Pico (heneraal Peeko). It's 2 hours north of where I was before, so it's in the same province, La Pampa. I'm still in the same zone, just a different district. So I go to Santa Rosa every couple weeks for conferences and stuff. So really nothing changed, just the scenery a bit. It's going to be a rough couple of next weeks because they are going to be putting 2 more elders in the house that I'm living in right now. That means 6 dudes trying to shower and get ready in a one hour period with only one bathroom. I'm scared. We are going to start searching for another place for my companion and I to live.
            Oh yah, funny thing. My Companion is Elder McCord from SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA! What the heck are two Northern California boys doing in some backwoods city in Argentina? He seems alright. He likes to talk about how great he is and how terrfiying he is when he needs to discipline people (even though he is the least terrifying person I know). He was in a heavy metal band before the mission and needless to say, he is a bit interesting. So we'll see. 
           I'm still with the Mexican, Elder Landerose from my last house. So I have a friend and that's nice. There is another Elder in the house that may be possesed by some sort of ghost or phantom or banshee. Last night he was just laying on the floor running his hand up and down his chest starring at the ceiling. He also likes to walk up to me and say "Elder Evans", do an evil chuckle and then touch my arm or hug me. He has already touched me 9 times this morning. That's 9 times too many. He's got demons in him. Also, this house may be haunted too. Elder Landerose and I kept hearing weird noises in the middle of the night. I'll let you know if we end up doing an exorcism or something. I'm probably going to call a priest or something, this kind of thing is out of my jurisdiction. At least I'm probably going to sprinkle some holy water on that possessed Elder, that should do it.
         I'm kind of sad to leave Santa Rosa, I can't say I loved the place, but I loved my ward. They were all mad that I was leaving because usually we have at least 3 transfers in one place before we leave. Flor, the girl in the picture, was especially mad. Ana and Alexis were also super sad too. Ana looked like she was going to cry a little bit, so that was sad. They are getting officially married this week and then baptized the following. I'm a little bummed that I will miss that.

That's all I got!

Elder Evans       

  This is the best picture I have ever taken.     

Ana, Alexis, Shayla and Isaiah (picking his nose, classic)

Me and Flor (she is super awsome)

Me and Julio Santa Cruz (the best member ever)

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Breakdown

Dear Padres y Familia,
        Everything is back to normal again. Nothing happened really crazy or terrible this week soooo that's nice. And honestly, I don't really remember what happened. It was just kind of a big blur. One of my journal entrees from the last week actually says, "I think something happened today, but what it was I have no idea. I can't remember anything anymore." This is what my life has become. A blur of spanish, dogs, and argentines. 
        At least my spanish is getting better, it was a little stagnant for a while, but now it's improving tons every week. I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like a fool everytime I open my mouth, which is a lovely feeling. I think I now have the spanish ability of about a 7 year old and that's good enough for me. The sad thing is that as my spanish improves and I speak it more, my english is starting to suffer. The other day we met a member who is really good at english and I just had an awful time trying to talk to him. It took a good 3 or 4 minutes before I could speak without thinking about it again. It was so weird. 
       It's transfers time again this week. I think I'm probably going to stay here again, but I have the weird feeling like I am going to be transfered... I dont know. I'm going to buy a couple souvenirs just in case, though. 
       This week I had divisions twice. The first was with Elder Perkins from Utah and that was interesting. I swear, for every normal missionary there is in this mission, there are at least 2 others that are really weird. Don't get me wrong, Elder Perkins is super nice and I have no problem with him. I feel bad because he tries so hard but he hates germs, other people, to have his clothes wrinkled, and so much more. He only has 6 more weeks than I do here, but the people can not understand him at all. I actually had to translate for him because he has retainers in his mouth and his words slur really bad. So sad. Then, this Saturday morning we got a call from the Presidente that we needed to do emergency divisions with Elder Perkins and his compañero that morning because Elder Perkins had a crazy breakdown and started yelling at Elder Astete in english (his companion, who doesnt speak english) and crying. So I went to a little tiny town called General Acha (coincidently where Mr. Mason served for a litttle). It was ok because I needed a little change of scenery and I love Elder Astete. I now know that there is beauty in Argentina, just not in Santa Rosa.
           And thats pretty much all that happened,
            Love Elder Evans

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Noah's Flood Part 2

¡Hola Familia y Amigos!
        Oh it's been a little bit of a crazy week. It started out good. I bought a camera (it works), we found a bunch of good investigadors, had some good lessons and all that jazz. Then, for whatever reason, the theoretical poop hit the missionary fan. Thursday morning it started to rain... not kind of rain, but RAIN with a capital wet. It was like Forrest Gump when he is in Vietnam but I was in a tie. The streets weren't streets anymore. They were rivers of 6-12 inches of water flowing. I saw dogs not being able to cross the roads because they would get swept away, if they did. I was actually having a grand time playing in it, you know, one of those "this is so horrible that its laughable" situations. However, that changed a litttle bit when its stopped raining and just got really cold and really windy. I was so very cold and wet. Then we got a call from our zone leaders that we had to walk to the bus terminal 30 minutes away and pick up another Elder who would arrive at 10:30. Of course he didnt get there until 12. Then our washing machine broke, so we have to wash our clothes like pioneers. Then the next day, we found out that Elsa (the cancer and pamphlet lady) got sick after going to church and she thinks its a sign from God that our church isn't true. So that kind of stinks!
             Ana and Alexis are still coming to church every week, though we are struggling to get anybody else there. Its ok though, they are great. I am happy, don't worry, some dumb week isn't going to get this pelirrojo (Red head) down!

-I don't really know about recipes, just stuff! good chicken and things like that. I don't know... sorry
- No, no bug experiences yet, Argentina is dirty, don't get me wrong.

Elder Evans!

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

I Testify of Christ... and for Alexis

Dear Family and Friends,
        So I got asked to testify in court this week. So I can check that off my bucket list. One of our investigators, Alexis (the one in the couple that is going to get married) had served jail time a month or so ago because he has a crazy sister that is a pathological lier or something that likes to pin crimes on him (sad, I know). So he got accused of committing another crime this week (I don't know what it is) that was supposedly committed the same time as when we were teaching him one day. They came to us  and asked us if we would testify for him if it went to court. We said that we would love to but we had to check with Presidente to see if it was all good. However, Presidente said we probably shouldn't because we are americans and they don't like us here and he didn't want to cause an international incident or something. Luckily, now it looks like Alexis won't have to go to court, so they will not need my awesome testifying skills. I'm not going to lie, though, I really wanted to testify in Argentine court. I was going to cry and everything on the witness stand. Maybe rant about political oppression or racism or something to inspire the judge into throwing out the case.... its probably best I don't testify for anybody... 
        Alexis and his future wife Ana are probably the cutest family in the whole world. They have two kids. Isaih (that one prophet in the bible that I dont know how to spell) who is 4 years old and their baby Shayla who is 3 months old. Isaih is crazy, he has more energy than I thought was possible to contain in such a little package and Shayla is the calmest baby in the whole world. I think I have only really heard her cry once in the billions of times I have met with them. Alexis is super funny because he is like a little kid when he gets excited about something. I taught him how to tie a tie on Saturday for church and he was so excited to wear it. It was awesome. Ana is great too. She loves to watch movies about the church and they both love to talk about all things they've learned. 
I don't really have a ton to write about this week, sorry. I'm sure there will be stories next week.

- The lady with throat cancer is great, she's probably going to be baptized at the end of this month
- My healthiness depends on the week and if I need cookies or not.
- The happy birthday guy has to work a lot, so we're trying to get a time to meet with him still.
- Sam, you are going to be better than me at soccer when I get back. They don't let us play soccer because missionaries aren't allowed to have fun... just kidding.  It's  probably just so I dont get hurt or something.

Elder Evans

Monday, August 25, 2014

My Testimony of the Happy Birthday Song

Hola Familia and Amigos!
       I got my package yesterday! It was awesome! Thank you! Good Ol' Argentina doesn't have anything delicious like jelly bellies or goldfish because they don't like to import things for some reason that I can't figure out. I guess they just like super high prices? A pack of 2 snicker's bars is $5 american dollars. No idea. I loved the pictures that I got and the letter from Julia was my favorite. GOOD TIME. If you would tell her that I am, in fact having a good time, that would be great. 
       The weather is being absolutely nuts right now. Last week was one of the hottest weeks that they have ever had in August. It was like 80 something degrees when it is suppose to be the middle of winter. Now its super cold and ridiculously windy. I dont really understand. Its so windy that I regularly almost get blown over. I bet all the stray dogs are having a great time.
        Our investigators are still good, technically none are proggresing at the moment because they still won't come to church... sigh..... but its ok because nobody in our entire district had anybody in the church this week. Actually... thats really bad. But oh well. Alexis and Analisa are going to set up a date for getting married today or tomorrow and then they can get baptized! WOOO!! YAH! But I'll probably will be transfered before that can happen. I only have one good story this week, it was kind of a rough one, not gonna lie. We didn't find anybody good. I'm still happy though.  It doesn't bother me too much.
         We were walking down the street the other day and we said hi to these two guys and one said it was his birthday. So Elder Bloomfield asked him if he wanted us to sing him happy birthday (E' Bloomfield has lightened up a ton, I have corrupted him) and the guy said no. Then Elder Bloomfield asked him what his name was and he said Gabriel. Elder Bloomfield then looked at me and with our companionship telepathy, we both started to sing happy birthday to him at the same time in english. He didn't really know what to say but he thanked us for our song and laughed. After that we just left and didn't really expect anything more to come from it. Much to our suprise, two days later we were walking home at like 8 at night and this dude rolled by on his bike and yelled "Elderes!!" We walked over to him and it was Gabriel! It turns out I had actually met him once before, really breifly because he is the brother of an inactive member in our ward. He told us that he has a drinking problem and he wants help quiting so he can be a better father to his daughter. We are going to start teaching him this week and its gonna be awesome. I now have a testimony of the power of the happy birthday song.
Answers for Questions Time!
Food- I eat noodles... lots and lots of noodles. Usually its got this greasy sauce with beef in it, its not bad, not amazing but not bad. I also eat a lot of something called milanesa. Its just breaded and fried steak, I think, but its really delicious. Probably bad for me, but really delicious. Occasionally we have chicken too and maybe some salad. And that's pretty much all I ever eat. Argentines don't like variety in the slightest. It may sound like I'm strereotyping but Argentines would be the first to tell you that its true. They hate spicy things too. Just a tiny bit of pepper and everyone wants to die. It would be paradise for you, Mom.
Spanish - Its coming, not super fast, but its coming. I'm right on the edge of getting a lot better, I can feel it. However, I am not quite there yet.
My Companion - He has loosened up a bunch, but he still loves to work and that's fine with me. It makes the days go by faster!
Scriptures: John 14:18 or Alma 26:12, I cant decide..
Sending you copies of my letters to the president: Yah they are in spanish.. but are those supposed to have spiritual experiences in those? Mine are always just a sentence or two. Oops.

Love You All!
Elder Aybons (thats how they pronounce it here) 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Week 12...Another Week in Santa Rosa, Week 13...The Proposal

Dear Familia y Amigos
        I'm still here in Santa Rosa, not that it is much of a surprise.  Elder Webb is gone! He got transferred to a town way down south called Vierma. Where, coincidently, Elder Giliam is. Dang Vierma! Stealing all my friends! I'm getting a new compañero named Elder Bloomfield and from what I've heard he seems like a cool guy. He's not here yet, so I'm just chilling with my Mexican roomate and his new companion from El Salvador. I'm excited for my new compañero but I am now the only one in the companionship that knows anything about my area, which isnt much! Its hard because everything looks exactly the same, dirt roads, piles of scrap metal and garbage in people's yards, dogs, and dog poop. Oh well, it will be an adventure.
           My spanish is getting sssoooo much better, I actually understand people now and, for the most part, people understand me. Its nice because I actually have friends in the ward and in our zone now. Our zone is pretty cool, actually. We have chilaens, columbians, paraguy-ans, americans, an el salvadorain, a peruvian, an australian and a guy who was born in finland (his name is Axeles Medenloto, super dope, right?)

Answers to your Questions:
- I have pictures, but I have no way to send them. My camera is pretty much dead too. Can I buy a new one?
- I cant print nothin
- My investigators are good, the dad didn't come to church sunday. That's ok, nobody comes to church.
- the corner of Chaco and miseones, its the big building complex
- My divisions with Elder Rodriguez was the longest day of my life, we just walked around annoying people who didnt want to talk
- Weather here doesnt make sense, its really hot, then its super cold.. I dont understand
- I sleep on pday or go play something with the other elders and buy stuff.
- I have one friend from another zone at the ccm in my zone here, so thats nice. I email Hermana's Romerel and Wooley sometimes


Elder Evans

Week 13...The Proposal

Dear Family and Friends,
        I have decided to make the subjest line of my emails more interesting, hence the interesting subject today. I have a new companion now, Elder Bloomfield. He is a great guy but my goodness, is he serious. He has the the personality of a 2X4, but a 2X4 that I like. He also is the hardest working individual I have ever meant which means.. I have to be a hard working missionary too. Last Thursday he had a bad fever and he decided that the only way it could be cured was by working twice as hard as we had been. The only thing I dont like about him is that he doesn't like to visit members, which is my favorite thing to do, because he feels that it doesnt have a purpose.
      I am tired. I have never been so tired in my life. I fall asleep every time we stop moving for more than two minutes. 
      I have been here for 2 months and I still haven't baptized anyone yet, but its ok, we've got some dope investigators. The only problem is that 3 of the families we are teaching, are not married... because in Argentina getting married is a fat pain in the butt, so the people just say they are married and they never do it legally. I guess just one day they wake up and say "hey honey, we are married, k?" and then just go on with their lives. So the other day we were teaching our investigators, Alexis and Analisa, and we commited them to baptism. Then Elder Bloomfield said "but to be baptized you have to be legally married" and then he looked to ALexis and said " are you willing to get married?" and Alexis said that he was. Then I, because you are always supposed confirm commitments with everyone there, turned to Analisa and said "Will you get married?" and she said yes. So, in a nutshell, I proposed to a girl and she said yes. And my companion proposed to a man...
       Fine, due to popular request, here is a dope spiritual experience. Last week, when I was still with Elder Webb, we were walking on the road and I said "I would kill someone to just get an investigator who actually understands what we are teaching." So we decided to knock on the door of a lady that nicely said hi to us on the street (that doesnt happen very often). She opened the door and said "oh come in! come in!" but we couldn't because she was alone in her house. She said "wait one second" and she ran inside her house and ran back out with her jacket on and said "Ready." So Elder Webb and I looked at each other and communicated telepathically (good companions can do this) "this lady is awesome!" After we talked to her a little bit, we found out that she had once talked to missionaries before but told them that she wasnt interested because she was jehovahs witness or something and they just gave her a pamphlet on the restoration. Then, a year later , she had cancer in her throat (6 months ago) and had to be in the hospital for 7 days to get it removed. For whatever reason, she accidently brought the pamphlet with her and because she didnt have a lot to do she read it. Then she decided to read it every night before she went to bed and kept it under her pillow because she loved how she felt when she read it. Then one thing lead to another and we are teaching her now.  She
wants to get baptized! 
       Thats all you get, 
             Elder Evans

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Week 11

Dearest Familia y Amigos
            It has been a very crazy week in Argentina! and guess what!? I went on divisions again! And was the elder normal?! Of Course Not!! He was some guy from Bolivia who didn't like to say anything to me but, "Elder Eevvvvvaaaaannnns....... Elder Evvvvvvvaaaannnnnsss es me amigo.." Over and over again. He took 3 naps for a grand total of 3 1/2 hours when I was with him. We are not even supposed to take a 20 minute nap! Even better, I found out that tomorrow I will probably be on divisions with the Zone Leader that loves to put me out of my comfort zone and thinks that I am not trying hard enough. But if there is one thing that I have learned so far in this mission, is to have no fear when talking to someone. So I'll just tell the elder what I think about him... I'm Kidding of course. Maybe.
               In sadder news, Elder Andersen, the elder from the mtc and who has been in my zone here, went home friday. I actually saw him every week at our district/zone meetings and he wasnt doing so well. He never helped his companion teach and pretty much never said anything to anyone in spanish. He and his latin companion could not get along too, which was sad because his companion is awesome. In a weird way, I will miss the big guy.
              We're still meeting very interesting people here, the other day we were talking to a lady and she said that she really needed help and peace. So we asked her what was bothering her and she said people were physically hurting her. So then we got all worried and asked her who was hurting her and she said she didn't know, thats why she needed help. (yes I know that was a giant run-on-sentance) Then we realized that she was crazy. We also taught a homosexual man yesterday who has two kids. He is awesome and loves what we taught him.
            We have two good families we are teachng right now that are great. I'm really starting to actually understand people now. I dont get every word but I get the gist. Now I just need to get better at speaking. I almost hope that my next companion is Latin so that I am forced to speak more spanish.
     Love Elder Evans

Friday, August 1, 2014

Week 10....Another Week in Paradise

Dear Padres y amigos
       Its finally starting to calm down a bit for me in the fabulous country that is Argentina. I'm starting to get into the routine and thats kind of nice. I am starting to understand the people a lot more, except for the ones with no teeth, which is far too many. I am actually contributing to lessons now, before I just prayed and bore my testimony and now I actually teach stuff.
       Now that I have a little less to talk about, I actually can answer your questions and stuff. 
1. I don't know what my favorite scripture is, I'll think of one this week.
2. My apartment: It's a three bedroom, 1 bath apartment with a little kitchen and laundry room. The living room is a good size and we dont have couches or nothin', just padded metal chairs that we stole from the church. Its nice but super dirty. However everything here is dirty, so its not abnormal. I have to wear shoes constantly or I will get some crazy foot fungal disease and grow an extra leg or something (which is not necessarily a bad thing). I miss carpet and walking around barefoot.
     The laundry situation kind of sucks, we dont actually have a washing machine, its just a glorified plastic barrel that turns the clothes in water. Then we put the clothes in this spiny thing that spins super fast to get the extra water out. So essentially together it makes a crapy washing machine. I never realized how much I could miss something that washes clothes! And heaven forbid that anybody in Argentina has a dryer. Not even the rich have dryers, they'll drive an audi and still hang their clothes to dry.
3. I do door approaches sometimes, but I really suck at them and I prefer to just talk to people on the street.      
4. Our Investigators are good but wont freaking come to church. Argentines are the laziest people on earth.
5. Im having lots of fun, its just a little hard every once and a while.
6. Tell Michael to email me
7. Its real cold and windy
8. Yah put some pictures on that package.  Also, I have heard that packages from Canada come a lot faster and easier, so thats something to think about.
The Argentines still continue to crack me up. On Thursday, I saw two drunk guys crash on their motor scooter at 7 o'clock at night. Nothing like a drunken Thursday night joy ride to undwind a bit. People still dont know where I am from, I'm just some alien who speaks bad spanish. I am the only red head I have seen since I arrived, but its cool cause little kids are fascinated by it and my blue eyes, those don't really happen here either. It 'twas a good week though I'm not complaining!

Elder Evans

Monday, July 21, 2014

Week 8 & 9

¡Hola Familia y Amigos! 
        Dang Germany, beating my country. Apparently it was a pretty good game, although I wouldnt know, I couldn´t watch it. Argentine people are nuts. Anytime Argentina scores a goal or gets scored on, you know. The entire city rumbles with screaming, car horns, and drums. After Argentina beat the netherlands in the semi-finals. the town went nuts. The entire town ran, biked, drove, and probably drunkenly stumbled to the center of town to rabidly scream at each other in beautiful chaotic harmony. Man, I love these people.

            My spanish is going very well. They say I speak very well for the amount of time I´ve been here, which is super awesome. Unfortunately it is a gift and a curse because when they think I can speak well, they think I can understand well, which I most certainly cannot. I still just hear "Shama shavar esha shamalama shim-sham-flam-wam shamtastic shimy sham" (trying saying that out loud.) I am fairly certain that these people go out of their way to find words with the "sh" sound in it. The sad thing is that I can understand the native missionaries from other countries, just not the one I'm in. Oh well, I'll get it eventually. 
            Right now we have 4 really promising investigators. A 24 year old girl named Yohanna (pronounced SHow-ana, I know, I don't understand either) and this awesome family. I helped teach a bunch in lessons and in contacting but I rarely understand what they say back to me, unless it is a short sentance. 
             Here, they don't love Americans a ton, they call us Shonkies (Yankies.) The mentality here is that America just goes around and bomb stuff we don't like, which isn´t entirely false, I guess. Luckily for me, nobody thinks I'm from the states. I've been asked if I'm from the netherlands, belguim and a couple days ago, after the semi-finals game, some people drove by and started yelling "down with england!" at me in spanish, so that's pretty funny. They really hate England, because of the whole falkland war thing. Yesterday after the game, people kept saying "son alemanies?" (are you germans?) and then we´d wave our blue ties and say no. That was fun. 
           My zone is pretty cool but I'm not really a huge fan of the zone leaders. They're kind of over enthusiastic. For whatever reason, the Elders in my zone find it necessary to constantly put their arms around  me. Everytime I walk in to a meeting within seconds some Elder has got their arm around me saying "Elder! Coma Esta!? Todo Bien!?" like I'm a five year old. We're even all pretty much the same age. I think I'm going to put a tazer on my shoulder. Then it will be "Oh elder, coma estahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!" then I will laugh triumphantly but say nothing because I still can't speak spanish.
            Every thing is good here. I like it but it sure is ugly.

Mom and Dad:
Foods good, but not that good
I still can´t speak spanish
Packages go to the main office in Bahia
I can't really send pictures because I dont have enough time to load them.
The wards super nice and I like them all
I also might spend a little bit of money soon to buy me an argentine jersey
Could you get megan to get Mr. Mason's email for me?
Jackets fine

Elder Evans

I can't remember if I told you but I got head-butted by a blind dog trying to bite me the other day. It was super funny.


Dear Familia,
        Another week in the beautiful paradise that is Santa Rosa. I saw a bunch of adorable puppies eating half of a cat yesterday. It doesn't get much better than this! It's been a weird week, they've sent me on divisions with everyone and their mother. I've been with both of the zone leaders, one I love to death and the other I can't stand, then some chiliaen from my district and a Elder Chandler from Las Vegas. My divisions with the zone leader I'm not a huge fan of, felt like forever. He believes the only reason that I can't speak spanish yet is because I'm not trying hard enoguh. So in lessons, he kept putting me in super weird positions without any kind of warning and then he wouldn't help get out of them. Luckily, I prayed for relief and Heavenly Father sent some in the form of hidden cheese (he is lactose intolerant). We were eating lunch with some members and I thought the noodles had butter all over them but it was tons of cheese, so needless to say I died. However, I didn't have to work with Elder Rodriguez for the rest of the day because I was dying. I regret nothing.
         One of the other Elders I was put with was so awkward it was funny. He has been on his mission for over 6 months now, but he can barely speak spanish. So then people think that he is brand new. Besides this, he is really bad with people. Every house we went to goes like this:
(imagine with lots of awkward spaces)
Elder C: Hola, Coma esta? (how are you)
Person: Hola... bien... (well)
E.C.: Todo bien? (everything is well?)
Person: ugh... si...
E.C: Somos missionarios ...( blah blah, something no one can understand)
Person: Como? (what)
E.C: Como? 
Person: Como?
E.C: Que? (what also)
Door Slams.
It was pretty funny but it may have been the longest day of my life.
       I've actually started contacting now and I understand what they are saying most of the time, unless they say more than a sentence, in which case I am usually doomed. The other day we gave a little lesson to Sadam Hussein look alike and it was nice. The best part about our sadam hussien look alike is that he speaks the most awful spanish ever. It sounds like a mixture of yelling, crying, growling, and someone messing with the volume control. Elder Webb says that even Argentines have a hard time understanding him. 
        I'm having a grand ol' time here! Its hard but I'm fine with it. We teach lessons every day but lately all of our investigators have just started ignoring us and won't answer their doors or talk to us. Elder Webb says Argentines are quite lazy and from what I've seen, I agree. So then its hard to get them to commit to anything. If I had a dollar everytime we taught the first lesson, Id be a rich man. 

Mom: I show our family picture to all the members and they think you and dad are super young. Then they don't believe me when I tell them how old you actually are (32, right?) So way to go, you are angering and impressing women on a different continent. Also packages take like 2 months to get here, so if you want to send one every once in a while, that be great. 
Dad: You would die here. I have never seen such awful teeth in all my life. More than half of the people have missing teeth or just straight black teeth. So then it makes it million times harder to understand what the heck they are saying. They don't care though, as long as they have their scooters and mullets, they are good.
Megan: One of the other Elders, a mexican, saw a picture of you and said you were pretty. After I beat him to a pulp, I told him you would appreciate the compliment.
Sam: Did you send these children a message or something! Because every kid here want to beat me up. I've been punched, kicked, bitten, stabbed, shot, scratched, and tackled so many times already and I feel like you are behind this....

Elder Evans

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Week 7...arrived in Argentina!

Hola Familia y Amigos!
          I´m in Argentina right now, thats super crazy. At this very moment I am sitting between an argentine teenager who keeps trying to pop a pimple on his arm and my companion, Elder Webb, in some cyber cafe in downtown Santa Rosa. I am currently assigned to serve in Barrio 3 of Santa Rosa, which is some minor city in the middle of no where in the north west of my mission. This is definetly a different country. I would like to describe Santo Rosa as a cross between mexico, a little bit of europe, and a large poop. Not that I don´t love it here, the people are awesome and I´m having a great time but mmmaannn this place is very very ugly. Argentines here have a lot of standards but infrastructure is not one of them. The houses are just cement boxes and and the insides are have no rhyme or reason to their decorating. I like to think that when they want to spruce up the room, they think "This (insert random decoration here) is nice, I think it is beautiful. I am going to put this next to twenty other unrelated beautiful things on this cupboard in a unorganized pile, or maybe I will hang it on the wall in a wierd place. That would look nice." The people are very intersesting here and this is one of the poorest, if not the poorest part of my mission. (The kid sitting next to me just started yelling at his video game.) The people live in pretty much squalor, but then they go and buy a flat screen tv, I have no idea how that works. Despite all of this, I love it here and the guachos (look it up on google images) are so cool.
              My companion, Elder Webb, is the bomb. He calls me "Hijo" which means son. He is from gilbert arizona and has about a year of his mission done. Luckily he is fluent in spanish because I am not. It turns out that we learned a mexican spanish at the mtc, which would be fine but here they speak a lot differently. In other spanish countries, the letters Y and LL make a ja sound, but here they make a "sh" sound. You wouldn´t think that makes much of a difference, but oh, it does. When people talk, I hear "aSHo aoSHo aSHo SH SH SH SH!" Its not spanish, I swear. I manage to understand what they are saying when talking about gospel things, but other than that, I get nothing. Luckily Elder Webb helps me out a ton. So far I have testified to a couple people about what we´re saying and also prayed a whole ton, but next week, I am going to start helping teach lessons.
               Its not really dangerous here, we´re almost always home by 9. The only thing we have to watch for is chorros (no, not the delicous treat) who are just drunks who sit on the corner and drink and occasionaly break into houses, but they never really give us trouble, just swear at us a bit. The crazy part is the amount of dogs they have here, every single house has a terrifiying dog in front of it to keep out the chorros. On top of that, these dogs aren´t spayed or nuetered so the amount of strays is ridicoulous. If I had a dollar for every time I have been barked at so far, I´d be very rich. Some times the strays like to follow us around and then we form a pack until they get chased away by the other dogs whose territories we walk in.
 I ran our of time becuase I thought we had more than an hour! Sorry!
I love you all and I will wçdo better next monday
Love Elder Evans,
p.s. Mom the packages do work, so maybe try to send something as a test, like jelly bellies and sour patch kids haha

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Week 6...last email from the United States

¿Que tal mi familia?
ESTOY LISTO SALIR pero, no quiero salir tampoco. ¿Por que es español muy difícil? Yo no se. I am soooo sick of the CCM, you have no idea. I just want to get it over with and head out to Argentina, but at the same time I really don´t want to leave my safe little bubble. Oh well. 
       This week has been pretty boring. The only cool thing is that on Tuesday, almost the entire 12 apostles and 1st presidency were here. I got to see Elders Bednar, Ballard, Nelson, Anderson, Oaks, and Cristofferson and the seven presidents of the quorums of the seventies all in the same room! Elder Cristofferson talked at our devotional and it was super good. I can´t actually really remember what he talked about, but I remember I liked it. I don't know if I told you but we sing in the choir every week and this week I was shown on the big screen like 5 times. So all those apostles and every missionary in every other MTC saw my beautiful face.
       Remember my roommate Elder Andersen? I've got a great story about him. Elder Andersen likes to be self righteous and loves to tell Elder Giliam and I that we need to act more like missionaries. He tells on us to the branch president for every little thing.  So we have some friends from another zone that we really like (one of them I'm going to probably room with at BYU-I) and they love to mess with us. We had just come home from class for the night and Elder Andersen got into the shower. Right after he got in the elders from the other zone came in and we were talking. Then one of the elders decided to scare elder andersen, so he banged on the bathroom door really loud. We then heard "WHAT THE "bleep" ARE YOU DOING!" screaming from Andersen. Needless to say, Elder Giliam, the other elders, and I ran out the door to their apartment across the street. We were laughing so very hard. We then looked out window and saw Elder Andersen across the street, through the window, barricading the door with couches. Finally, when we went back to the room we pushed open the door and he was sitting there with the iron (yes, the hot one that makes clothes straight), waiting for us. He started yelling. So then I got mad and started going into my sarcastic super, mean way like Dad did with that guy at the airport shuttle in France.  Not my proudest moment though. He got super mad and left because I was making fun of him. Then the next day he just pretended like it never happened What a crazy kid. I promise everybody else at the CCM is pretty normal though. 
         I'm so excited to get out of here, I want to eat something different then the same thing every week. I'm also excited to call, that will be nice. Also, Mom, I used a pay phone so I'm pretty sure you can't call me back. And, yes I got the package, thank you! but I may need to buy a better jacket when I get there. The one we got doesn't seem very warm. If you could make sure I have about 250 on my card that would be fantastic, I just want to be sure I have a lot when I travel. I will get charged $100 for my second suitcase but the mission president will reimburse me when I get there.
        Tell Grandma thank you for the cookies, I loved them and so did my zone!
Also tell Sarah for the cookies and goldfish, I had a real hankering for some of that cheddar gold. I also love the clay Argentina flag. As soon as I can find something to tie it to, I will!

Don´t Cry for me Argentina

Con mucha amor,
Elder Evans